was i sexually abused quiz
So the question here is, what is it you are after really? Later on i talked with my son and daughter about these thungs and some were confirmed. Then when I was 10 I asked my other cousin who is a boy and was 13 if I could play his games said only if I touched his privates, and he unzipped his pants and showed me privates while fondling himself. That we are suffering. We hope its working out. Am I just overthinking? Best, HT. They put you in touch with trained and kind listeners. Hi, I remember nothing about my childhood. Ive been very sexual though since as long as I can remember but as far back as that memory goes, I dont remember anyone doing anything to me. So, naturally I thought it was okay because my mom wasnt helping or making it stop completely. (My whole family has a history of being touched by family members so). The thing is, when we are heavily traumatised to the point everything triggers us, like you evidently are, some therapies can backfire. I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety but havent been on meds for years. Quiz. Read our article on finding low cost counselling as well, it might give you some ideas. They could actually see me, but it felt exciting and dirty. I remember flirting with my dad as I would see him naked in the bathtub at times. one night my father came into my room, he laid in bed with me and gave me a small plastic heart and told me whenever you look at this heart remember that i love you. Childhood sexual abuse can be very difficult to identify, especially if the person who may have been abused doesn't remember what happened. If you are at university or college yet, there might be free or very low-cost counselling on campus. Even though it is quite scary for me. What could being told about this and the ultimate realisation of a life long problem do to me medically? He was a drunk who verbally abused me for years and of course, the bullying at school ensued. Im understand that you are unable to tell me whether or not I was sexually abused or not, but Im just unsure off what to do I guess I just wanted to know if this all sounds really crazy or if its something that could be worth bringing up with my therapist. I Have suffered with PTSD after being sexually exposed to as a 4 year old. But it is true that sadly abuse can be a cycle, as in, those who were abused are far more likely to be the ones finding themselves with urges to abuse. What you are not mentioning here is your parents. She should be reported. Its far far better to do a stablising type of therapy first before you go into this, something like EMDR or CBT, that lowers the PTSD. When I smell perfume or really close with people around me even just 1 person. Do you have other symptoms of sexual abuse? I feel the grime from the nightmares crawl down my spine for days after and they always feel very real. The memories resurface instantly and strongly and I feel immediately so panicked I cant think straight just by being in the context of a therapy appointment. i became a teenager and that dreamt was gone, replaced by somebody always chaising me, trying to hurt me, cut me, kill me, voices. Start with what feels right for you. If he didnt, then why is it still stuck in my head? hello, im here to tell you that i remember nothing about childhood however when i was 15 years old i faced sexual harassment when i was asleep from 2 of my cousins ,at that moment i couldnt react ,i did nothing but i can remember their hands touching me and hearing their voices .. also i remember from childhood one of my uncles who used to love me so much ,he used to bought me everything i like and he lived with us for a period of time (he used drugs) however my parents were not aware of that and they didnt realise that this might harm us as girls (we are 4 girls in the family) .i have scars on the face but i dont know till now they are caused by what.. after what happened to me by my cousins i tried so hard to forget about that and i used to talk to them as they did nothing to me (i dont know why) . You are teenager, you are going to high school which is a lot to navigate, your brain is actually growing, your hormones can be all over the place. My husband was the first guy I ever touched and sex was gross and painful. Otherwise it becomes something involving child services and/or possibly the police. Thank you for all this kind sharing. In our experience, any good therapist would happily talk about fear of therapy. So read about codependency and boundaries and see what comes up for you. Or it could even just be the way you were parented, if you werent allowed to be yourself or have agency. By this time I was 8 years old but I felt pressured to say yes and like I couldnt say no ,so I said yes. Im just not comfortable enough to truly get to know them. I just ignore his messages. Its a natural impulse to want to know what happened. When my Dad was arrested I started getting nightmares where he is abusing me but Im not sure if these are my imagination which is very vivid. . What should I do? As you are 19 note that you are legally able to also hire a counsellor without parental permission, and you might be able to find one who offers a very low price to young people. Please read all the other comments. I was cold and had a blanket over me, he started tickling me and I wasnt opposed to it because I really liked him and wanted him to like me. Its an act of self-torture to obsess on that. He went back to how he was before, only requesting sexual things and he started acting as if he didnt care for me anymore. What Im still battling with is Christianity which makes my relationship to my mom very hard to nurture, since I blame the dogma for my moms wrong behaviour. How do I know for certain, there is only fragmented circumstantial evidence at best. Sex has always been a rough topic for me i remember when my close friend told me she had lost her virginity i had a mental breakdown and started bawling my eyes out. I was a really quiet kid most of my life and I used to latch on to my mom a lot, I was very scared of people. But now there is this niggling feeling that SOMETHING happened to me as a little girl. Emotional Abuse Quiz - Garbo It would be a very good idea to reach out for support with this, professional support. Towards the end of my eighth grade year, me and him began to get close, as our families were very close and my brother was his best friend. But if you find a good fit, a therapist you can grow to trust, these feelings of sadness, feeling unsupported and unheard, and feeling so anxious you are on protective overdrive around your kids can start to shift. Harry Potter House Quiz: Which Hogwarts House Do You Belong To? The thought of sex doesnt exactly mortify me but it makes me extremly uncomfortable and I constantly make jokes and inuendos out of habit that I cant help. Many times. Recently though, Ive been dealing with more anxiety and depression than usual, and shes been such a great help and so supportive, I dont find myself being afraid of her anymore. Will it ever be okay? Although I dont blame him or think he did it on purpose i just think he was a stupid boy. We do highly recommend you find a therapist you feel comfortable with to work through these issues. I dont have anyone that I can trust in this since I come from a small country and narrow minded people. Most of the things I have written thus far I can find alternative reasons as to why it could be an issue in my life, but theres one thing Im finding hard to explain in another way. If you have trauma or have emotional dysregulation then regular counselling where you just talk about your past might not work or could potentially just keep you in a state of feeling traumatised and resorting to self-harm. All I know as an adult I feel like theres something mentally wrong with me like I have these permanent walls put up, I dont know why but I cant be close to people, the idea of hugging someone makes me feel uncomfortable but again I dont know why, I attach normal things like hugging, or tickling or even holding my child and bouncing her on my lap like its a sexual thing, when I do it, I immediately look around wondering if people are looking at me as if Im doing something wrong or something I shouldnt be doing even though it could me the most normal of things. I was never sure he liked me and thought that the only way I could show him that I loved him was through sex, even when I did not want to. As for your husband, oh dear! They seem to be increasing and I dont know why. http://bit.ly/lowcosttherapy. I dont really want to get into detail but the stuff I saw would definitely be classed as pornographic. I tell him to stop and he just continues. Was I Sexually Assaulted Quiz. So the question is not really figuring out what happened. Content is produced by editor and lead writer Andrea M Darcy, trained in person-centred counselling, and overseen by Dr Sheri Jacobson, retired BACP senior therapist & founder of London-based Harley Therapy Psychotherapy and Counselling as well as Harley Therapy Platform, a network of therapists across the UK. Now, whenever anyone tries to tickle me or touch my legs I get extremely uncomfortable and angry. I remember my parents saying the pastor wanted to talk to me and I walked over there by myself. And obsessing on figuring out exactly what happened can be even more upsetting. Flash forward to now. Carina, it is totally understandable if you were abused as a child that you are terrified about your daughters being hurt. Is this classed as COCSA? Thats how easily manipulated I am. We see you.We hear you. I am dating a guy who is very narcissistic and my sexual drive is not normal. Finally, try to go easy on yourself. There was a certain smell, which I catch every now and again since and it disgusts me. Hi Sandy, yes it is possible it is a build up of various traumas causing it, not abuse. It can also create memories of things that didnt happen. I felt so stupid and am embarrassed to this day. So definitely dont ignore! Toxic Relationship Quiz - Garbo They made me sleep this way because Id always complain of hurting or feeling weird in my private area. And then seek support. We wish you courage. Both the English teacher I admired and the Science teacher I kind of had a bit of a crush on saw A. come out of the boys bathroom, followed by me, crying. And there is as much a chance you werent as were. I have been wondering for years now whether I am suppressing something that happened to me or whether it just my parents inability to show love and/or being bullied as a child that left me with these scars and personality problems? Regardless, we are pretty sure God would rather you learned how to fully live and be powerful instead of spend your whole life mired in rage and telling yourself youd forgiven someone. What do we do? Hi Natalia, we cant give an informed opinion unless you were a client we worked with over several sessions and we knew you well, it would be damaging and unethical to give an opinion otherwise. Im absolutely terrified of him, a lot of these issues apply to me. Im 17, and for the past year the worry that I was abused as a kid has been stuck in my brain. What is the best therapy to deal with my darkness? My dad came rushing down the stairs quick and was like WHATRE YOU TALKING ABOUT HUH? And I remeber my mom telling me countess times to just be still and dont react when he yells like this and just say nothing. Okay so let's get started. I have been with my husband 28 years. It just means you are ready to love yourself, too. All of my abusers had some kind of hold over me but i still think i did it to save hassle, i said no and you can repeat it to your blue in the face. I am only 19. Quiz: Are You Being Sexually Harassed? You are far from alone. Sexual Abuse Quiz - MOBIEG It choke holds us, it makes us feel responsible, and unable to see that this was nothing to do with us, not our fault, and something that far too many people experience. But I never gave much reason to as Im still living at home, finicial dependant most months, pursuing my dreams of nursing etc. If you feel uncomfortable, upset, or sad it happened, then treat it as important and talk to a counsellor. And we are really glad it helped. The strange part is, I have no memory of how old I was? Hearing people in religion take advsntage of children makes me feel even less protected by the church. Do you often get remarks about your sex or gender? I do watch Law and Order: Special Victims Unit so maybe Im making it up but I just dont think so. So wed google for support groups for survivors, there are many right across America, and use our article for how to find free to low cost counselling for inspiration. Which I forgot to mention lol) So pretty much all my life till about the time i turned 18 (which was this year 2017) I realized that I was molested and that it wasnt my fault. Its as impossible for us to say as much as you, were afraid. I have had physical trauma from my family members along with lots of mental and emotional trauma from manipulation and punishments, along with sexual abuse from my fellow classmates before I could even understand what it was. She said she would talk to him i guess she did n she came to my bed i was awake waiting she hugged me and told me it was a misunderstanding i cried myself to sleep repeating in my head a misunderstanding..i dont like no one to see my body i hate the light on my first relationship i had a daughter and i was abused verbally n physically my second relationship i had a son i was not treated like i was enough i felt like i was invisable he is a good father but i was not in the picture .. i feel like i loose it sometimes and i need to see what to do because i have two kids .. n i have this other thing that i keep wanting to get pregnant like a desire but i know i shouldnt but i ask myself why i feel the desire too be pregnant ? Its hard. Im 20 now. I was abused by boys in high school and groomed and trafficked. bit.ly/mentalhelplines. I moved decades ago to put distance between me and the druggies. It was a completely surreal and scary feeling. And dont over look calling a help line for young people, they are there to help. I wont get help from anywhere. It included being abducted and forced sexually. ( fortunately i have not that idea now) we live in an arabic society and its not easy to talk about these topics and your reply is making me stronger . Hi, Im in my 50s and recent events and revelations have made me question whether I may have been sexually abused when I was a child. Wed highly recommend you reach out for support. I used to raise farm animals but recently sold them all. Ive been talking to older men and getting into things I dont want to be in. I think Ive been sexually abused as a young child but Im not so certain because my memory is not all there. Wed recommend that you raed our other article about what to do if you think you were abused. I dont know if Im being a drama queen or not. You say you forgave him. Wed advise you call a mental health charity in your country and ask the way this works where you live. Around age six I think I was sexually abused. You might discover all sorts of things in the process of therapy, both bad but also good. Im sixteen and while I cant bring up any memories of sexual assault happening to me, there are some people in my life that I used to meet more frequently when I was younger (practically not at all now, as we moved to another country) who have given me an uncomfortable feeling whenever I was near them. Then while watching a movie with my mom I was told to cover my eyes during a sex scene. In my family, and I have always felt fortunate for my upbringing, we do NOT talk about sex, I dont know if my catholic upbringing has anything to do with that. I think too much about it.Im scared that some will hurt them like someone did so many times with me and my mom dont even notice.I dont want that to happened to them and raised them so weak like my mom did with me .My first daughter is 8 and my second is 4 months.my husband and I let a 13 years old kid stay in our house .he is his bestfriend son I know that is just for a few months but I can even sleep thinking that he will come to my daughters room and hurt my babies.I used to take therapy but I missed one so I never call again.but it was a couple therapy.Honesly I dont know how to protect or let raise my daughters knowing that I have a trauma.Do you think I can cure my self? I was definitely overly sexual for my age and very flirtatious from a young age. I thought all of this was in my head, until I came across this article. What becomes important here is not obsessing on over whether you were or werent abused, which changes nothing, as we cannot know the past. How do you stop feeling like you need it to relax? I cant stand water on my face. Unfortunately most of us never know for sure. Hi Melissa, so from what you are saying you have depression and ptsd? I am torn. All these issues are more than worth discussing with a counsellor, which we would highly, highly advise. If you did have the courage to try therapy again, wed highly suggest Schema therapy, which is specifically designed to help people when other forms of therapy havent and to help people who have no idea how to trust. She was a closed friend of mine I know it wasnt my fault but I feel like considering I was literally on campus I couldve done something. London Bridge. What there are, however, are answers to are how you are feeling, which is evidently anxious around sex. How can I start to remember? And now when I think about it, I feel disgusting and shameful. Note that its not only sexually abuse that leads to being in an abusive relationship, neglect and abandonment alone can cause trauma bonding. If not, if you are sure it would make things worse for you,then use internet groups and forums to connect with people in privacy who do understand, and do your best to get through to a point you are an actual adult with a job and independence and then please do reach out for professional support in the form of counselling. Im seeing a psychologist, but every time I try to mention anything, he says that simply not everyone has the same sex drive. I always felt like a bad seed. Cut yourself some slack. We have fooled around like teenagers do, but never had sex. We arent quite sure of all of what happened as you just describe one incident. Yes, I understand and implement appropriate boundaries. I didnt think it was abnormal. He said I could play but it was a secret so I couldnt even tell my two favorite cousins Peanut and Coda bear(childhood nicknames). I remember wanting to play a board game with someone who was supposed to be like an older brother to me. From a very young age, Ive been interested in sex and known more than I should have. I have uncontrollable feeding frenzies and i stick my finger down my throat anything from two to twenty times a week out of guilt and fear of getting fat. The symptoms of sexual abuse often cross with the symptoms of other traumas or difficult experiences. The most important thing of all when finding a therapist is that you feel that you can grow to trust them and can be comfortable around them. I have a vivid memory of hugging a man in my church whom I saw as a grandad type figure but as I hugged him, he began touching and squeezing me and kissing and licking my neck. They are both in their early 80s and in poor health. Definition. I believe if i begin to record these boughts of intense fear i may be able to find a pattern and with that pattern i can start focusing on memories of my childhood. The list is mostly me, with some exceptions of course, and additions, i.e. It can take many years sometimes, especially with trauma and abuse. Around that time I also became very uncomfortable talking to my mom about those things, or watching sex scenes in movies with her in the room, etc. Hi there, its not disgusting or disturbing at all. Another one could be that your mother hated her body and you internalised the attitude. And was named a cheater. Hi Will, worth talking to a counsellor about if its something you find very upsetting. Dont trust them? (A Quiz) The Am I Abused Quiz helps you see abuse in your relationships. I have also read that having a high sex drive could be related to past abuse. My dad, (the supposed rapist) said that it wasnt real and that I could get some medical and mental help if I wanted help dealing with thoughts like these. When she returned she told authoritys it was a monster under her bed. I do not know how many others he has abused. I was 5 year old boy I got raped buy a guy and that was 1995 I recently found him on Facebook who did that to me Ive never told anyone cos I was ashamed of it ,it has damage me as guy left me with to much anger its really hard to trust anyone but now I want my justice Ive contacted to police its been 11 years and only about four years ago I remembered this memory but I never did before so Im not sure if its all in my head or if this is real. I cant enjoy being with my husband. Often CBT techniques were used to downplay abuse, encouraging me to reframe instances of abuse as normal caring behavior and to maintain a relationship with my abuser. I dont know, maybe Im just neurotic, but at this point in my life, I dont know how to get out of my fantasize world. i said i had been. But then he started making comments about my body, and staring at me awkwardly. I leave the lounge into the office in order to go back to my room and my Dad is sat at the computer. Wed recommend you seek support as soon as possible. Often times my dad shared a bed with me and I remeber very clearly the beginning but not so much the end. I need help/advice. Seems like you are not giving him any credit here, nor yourself, as would you really have married someone that terrible? I dont know if there is a possibility that this could have happened to me or all of this is normal or I just might have another issue. But your school might have a free counsellor. There are other pieces of the puzzle, but it all definitely points to abuse. ive never told anyone, because probably theyd think im crazy. It just gave everything a different look. 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